velveeta and tater tots and gynecology

• Apparently 1975 has not exited my kitchen because hamburgers with Velveeta and tater tots were for dinner.

• My post dinner chaser was licking the brownie mix bowl with my daughters.

• Did not want to be at work today so I had to repeatedly ask gOd to remind me how much my clients wanted to see ME.

• Have you ever noticed how dental offices will sometimes have a picture of a tooth on their signage out front?

• Ever thought how that just wouldn't work for, say, a proctologist or gynecologist?

• Ever thought of doing something special for that ohsospecial recovering person in your life? Get them something here or here.

I take recovery seriously but

some things just beg to be posted.

Every time I see this one on my Youtube channel, it screams to be posted (as if it didn't go viral years ago...)

shuffle

Random thoughts...

My professional life is weird. I work in a very dimly lit room, in clothes that are not unlike pajamas, barefoot, with a couple of candles, and low playing spa music. I come out of each massage yawning and rubbing my eyes. I have been doing this for close to 10 years. Is it any wonder why I get into my car and crank up the speed metal? Without Tool or even the White Stripes, I would undoubtedly fall asleep behind the wheel.

I took the night off from chairing the Speaker Meeting to take my newly minted 7 year old out for a Big Girl Dinner. I had flowers delivered for her. She waddled away from the table with a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, a basket and a half of bread, spumoni, and two glasses of lemonade in her belly. I have no idea where she put it. She's tiny. She felt special and, frankly, so did I. My kids are gifts of sobriety.

I can't stand the word 'moist.'

Or 'sponsor.'

Had a newcomer in the meeting Monday night that was so new, he was still shaking. He was in bad, bad shape, but he was in the right place. His wife said it was his decision to go to the meeting. He came with his wife and a family friend. The family friend asked me how they can get him a sponsor, so I took the newcomer over to the back of the room where a stable group of oldtimers sit and said, "He needs phone numbers." I hope he comes back.

I don't like the word 'goiter,' either.

For the record, I do know how to write correctly. I simply choose not to because it is easier for me to write how I think. Fragmented and out of sequence. Kind of like shuffling the deck and picking a card. You never know what you're going to get. It makes me a lousy public speaker, but I was fantastic fun when I was stoned.

I'm so glad Pam is back

Stay sober, people.

God is good.

oy

You know what's a tricky place to be in?

To be in a place of great emotional turmoil and transition and be trying to renovate your home at the same time.

I'm a believer in color therapy. Yet being in a place of emotional instability means that I am gravitating to a color scheme that reflects my desire to seek stasis in my life.

It should be no surprise that every room in my house is on the verge of turning green.

"Green is the color of nature. It symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness, and fertility. Green has strong emotional correspondence with safety. Dark green is also commonly associated with money.

Green has great healing power. It is the most restful color for the human eye; it can improve vision. Green suggests stability and endurance. Sometimes green denotes lack of experience; for example, a 'greenhorn' is a novice. In heraldry, green indicates growth and hope. Green, as opposed to red, means safety; it is the color of free passage in road traffic."

~Color Wheel Pro

Oy. I cannot have a completely green house. It's enough that I have an absurd amount of house plants to begin with, but now the walls, too? I know I have an obsession with Poison Ivy. To the point that I wanted to name my firstborn Ivy. My plant obsession borders on a TLC worthy reality show. I cry when I see plants being harmed. I don't even like to cut my grass. I become annoyed with my spa full of vegetarians because they are harming my beloved plants. And now? Now every room in my house wants to be painted green because emotionally I am seeking stability.

And I am, you know.

Several years ago, in a much more stable time of my life, when I would work on a home renovation, my color palette was far more diverse. Green wasn't even a consideration. Now my emotions have a stranglehold on my decorating scheme.

I'm even tired of saying 'green.'

I need help.

make no mistake

• I take sobriety seriously.
• Lighthearted brain droppings such as those about Orange Food and my obsession with Jack White are just that: lighthearted brain drainage.
• Alcoholism (addiction) is deadly serious and I don't take the treatment of it lightly.
• I am watching a drama in my family unfold on the west coast that will affect many lives. It centers around the alcoholism of a young woman who is fighting treatment while her infant son and fiance wait on the sidelines to see which path she will take.
• For the record, I have nothing to do with this drama. I have not spoken to them nor have they asked for my opinion. All information comes through my mother. However, I'm thinking that at $28,000 a month, she should try taking a stab at recovery.
• I guess that is kind of an opinion.
• If you're headed to the grave, you don't blame the hearse (Jack White.)

miscellany and a happy anniversary

• Tired. T-I-R-E-D. Tiiiiiiiired. Enough said.
• Had a return of Orange Food Day. For those that haven't been blessed with my OFD blog posts of the past, it's the day when I'm grocery shopping, get mid-way through, look down in the cart, and realize that 95% of the food is orange. Salmon, squash, orange juice, Cheetos, carrots, etc... I have no idea why this happens. It doesn't happen with other colors. Just orange.
• Hired a contractor from the program to work on my newly purchased house. He vanished. Just hired another contractor to come in and fix contractor #1's handiwork ala Mike Holmes style. A home group member had warned me about contractor #1. I should have seen the handwriting on the wall. For the record, alcohol was involved. ::sigh::
• March is the month that I chair the speaker meeting with T at St. J.'s downtown. Interesting lineup this year. Lot's of new stories. Need to pick up doughnuts tonight.
• Happy 1 year anniversary to fellow blogger(s) Crying Out Now. Blog mistress Ellie put together a beautiful tribute video. Check it out.
• Sobriety marks the end AND a beginning. The end of the madness, the end of the pain, the end of the lies, the end of living a reactionary life and a life of confusion. What happens after is the beginning of true potential and creativity. So make it count.