purple

I vicariously celebrated Thanksgiving through you, dear readers. Last year at this time I was preparing to close on my house and the owners allowed me into the property early in order to paint and pull carpet. So much was accomplished in two days that I decided to use this year's holiday to accomplish equally as much.

Thanksgiving, for me, consisted of a raging fever, a bowl of tuna with Triscuits, and painting my living room. While I still have temporary shades from Lowes up on the windows, the room is done, I tell ya. D.O.N.E.

What's hilarious is that Ginormous Cow Puppy was totally put off by the project and chose to stay outside throughout much of the 12 hour project. Which is probably best being as how he has enough fur for 10 dogs and can't seem to keep it from brushing up against the walls. I brought him in a few times for food and water and he sniffed the construction site with disdain and promptly went back to the door to be let out.

I don't have any good 'before' pictures but the room was an awful grayish white with horrendous tobacco stains. Now? Perfect. Window coverings and ceiling fan will be replaced as money becomes available. The massive mirror above the fireplace will be coming down, the wall will be repaired, and I will either have a magnificent painting displayed or a unique mirror. Also, I haven't decided yet whether I want bamboo shades or if I will sew curtains. The room is entirely too small for anything heavy and there is a lot of dust tracked in with the shaggy dog. I shall see...

What I'm most excited about is that while doing the room and watching a show on Netflix at the same time, I found the inspiration for the dining room color. There was a painting/logo in an office on the show and the color purple used in my living room was part of the piece. Also used was a green that I refer to as Taste of Asia Green. Anyone from Charleston, West Virginia would know what I'm talking about. Its completely ostentatious but it will blend perfectly with the color I have going right now. The dining room is a fraction of the size of the living room, so I should have it done fairly quickly.

Happy Sober Monday, people. Stay sane.

coming around again

I ran across a post I had written several years back. So much has happened over the last few years and my children have grown up so much in that time, that I wanted to re-post it as a reminder to myself of what my dreams are for my girls.

Here it is, coming around again.

I'm fine

It's Friday night and I'm doing OK.

A heartfelt thank you to all who wished me well and kept me in their thoughts. Wednesday has come and gone and clearly I am still standing. It went better than I had expected. The judge was kind and flexible and willing to allow my ex and I to stay with our own parenting plan and financial agreement. When I mentioned in my last post that our arrangement is unorthodox, I meant it. There is nothing about our arrangement that is typical and most people are astonished by how we make it work. But it does work and we wanted the courts to recognize that and sign off on it. They did.

Several people have asked me how I feel since the hearing. I can't put into words how I feel. I am 2,600 miles from my family and the possibility of moving back to California is not an option. I have children here and I won't take them from their dad or separate them from me. I have kind coworkers and trusted friends in AA. I am not alone. But I am most assuredly on my own. I lost my health insurance in the divorce. I walked away from our houses. I walked away from an awful lot, in fact, and many people think that I'm crazy or stupid. Possibly both. Crazy stupid perhaps, but I feel OK.

I'm fine. I knew I would be, but I can actually feel the fine-ness. No more Pepto to ease the nausea of pre-hearing nerves. No more sleep aids to help me make it through the nighttime anxiety. No more short sightedness due to frazzled divorce process depression. I'm fine.

On to the next challenge.

forgive me

Forgive me, kind readers, for my lack of commentary on your blogs. This last week or so has found me paralyzed with fear over my upcoming divorce court date (this Wednesday, to be exact.) For what has been an amicable and fluid arrangement in parenting on both parts, could very well turn hostile and petty on Wednesday should either party find themselves on the wrong side of the judge.

My husband and I have a fairly unorthodox arrangement regarding the custody of our children, yet we have found over the last two years of separation that it works for all of us. For the most part, we want to be left alone to manage the arrangement as we see fit, with no oversight by the court. However, in the 11th hour, I am beginning to panic. We did not retain attorneys and have drawn up the agreements on our own. For lack of a better term, I'm scared I am going to be thrown under the bus by my ex.

So, blah blah blah about my problems. Nothing really is that important in the great scheme of things. I continue to read you all and am grateful for everyone's words of wisdom and insight. And I guess insight is wisdom, yes?

I will be back to random ramblings on Thursday.

just pluggin' along

"Some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you."

~Marie S.