flashback

My post the other day got me thinking of a post I wrote some time back. As I went into my archives, I found that it was written one year ago today.

Flashback.

the Fun Bobby experience

In my profession, it is nearly impossible to stay completely anonymous. After years of treating the same clients week after week, month after month, my life begins to open up to them and they share more of their life as well.

There are certain 'no go' topics. As an individual who prefers to remain private, there are some things that I simply do not share. My sobriety is not one of them. If the topic of addiction comes up in a conversation with a client, I will break my anonymity. I have found over the years that the positives outweigh the negatives in this regard.

Case in point: one client has been seeing me off and on for a couple of years. She is a thirty-something urbanite who works for a high-end law firm downtown. She's young, pretty, stylish, hip, and single. She's a fixture in the downtown party scene and will share openly her misadventures in dating. Over the years, I have heard about the breakup of her long term relationship, her work life, personal struggles with trying to quit smoking, and all the various physical ails that she is trying to address through massage. She is talkative and witty and loves to ask me about recovery related issues and all things AA.

I wasn't prepared for what she told me two sessions ago.

She mentioned to me in the middle of a massage that she had told her therapist she is tired of drinking and is questioning it's role in her life. She states that the therapist suggested to her that she try quitting for a week just to see what happens.

The client wasn't prepared for what happened.

She had become Fun Bobby.

I couldn't help but laugh when she told me this. I apologized, but told her that just the other day I had been thinking of the Fun Bobby episode where the Friends realized why Bobby was so much fun.

Bobby - booze = bore.

This poor girl was a mixture of emotions and I could tell that she needed to share. She told me that she wasn't aware of how much of her time had revolved around the drinking experience and that she didn't know what to do with herself once that factor was removed from the equation.

Welcome to sobriety, my love. Bit of an eye opener isn't it?

She had no friends that didn't drink. She had few hobbies that didn't revolve around alcohol. She didn't know what to do with all of her free time. She was confused. I have to say that it was glorious to be able to stay silent and listen to someone share openly about their sobriety experiences. In the meetings I go to, most newcomers pass instead of sharing.

The word 'alcoholic' never passed her lips and I didn't feel the need to promote AA or hand her a meeting schedule. I was simply satisfied to listen and experience the overwhelming gratitude I felt right at that moment; because as time passes and sober life marches on, I begin to forget what the early days were like. Based on what she shared, I don't believe that she is giving up alcohol for good. But listening to her share her experience gave me what I needed on that very day.

Happy Sober Monday.

update

It all started with this.

Last night it all ended with the final exam in the process to gain admittance into the program.

400 + applicants. 40 spots up for grabs.

It is out of my hands at this point and in the hands of the program coordinators. This may be the end of the road or it may be the jumping off point to the next big adventure.

Here is the part where I pull my own covers:

Some would say, "It's in gOd's hands now."

Really? Really?

Even today I still have difficulty with that concept. Even with an upbringing by a mother who constantly said, "Offer it up to gOd," I still have a hard time believing that gOd has anything to do with it.

Isn't this a situation where work experience, transcripts, and test scores trump spirituality?

Believe me when I say that I prayed my ass off last night that I do well enough on the test to get me in the door. But if I don't get in, well, that's on me.

Thoughts?

(By the way, if I don't get in, I will try again next year.)

stream of consciousness

I awoke this morning thinking about the Second Step.

"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

No real hard format to my thoughts. More of a stream of consciousness kind of thing.

Took the bubble of thoughts in my head to the chaise with a cup of French Roast and some raisin bread and randomly opened As Bill Sees It.

"If you arrive at A.A. with no religious convictions, you can, if you
wish, make A.A. itself or even your A.A. group your "Higher Power".
Here's a large group of people who have solved their alcohol problem.
In this respect they are certainly a power greater than you. Even
this minimum of faith will be enough.
Many members who have crossed the threshold just this way will tell
you that, once across, their faith broadened and deepened. Relieved
of the alcohol obsession, their lives unaccountably transformed, they
came to believe in a Higher Power, and most of them began to talk of
God. "

1. TWELVE CONCEPTS, P. 19
2. TWELVE AND TWELVE, PP. 27-28

So there you have it.

It shall be a Second Step kind of day.

Happy Sober Thursday....

random thoughts

It's Tuesday and the kids are off to school.

I am off to work in a few.

Contrary to what my blog content depicts of late, I am still committed to recovery posts.

There are many things in life that I am deeply ambiguous ambivalent about (sorry chitown. Wrong choice of words.) Lima beans. Tom Petty. Brazilian bikini waxing.

But not sobriety.

Content from a certain publishing company has been going to my old address. I was handed some items from the husband just the other day and I will see to it that the reviews of these recovery items are posted as soon as I finish reading them.

How is it that I find out about all the really great shows AFTER they have been pulled off the air?

My new passion? Dead Like Me. Thank you Netflix for having it available for instant viewing.

Happy Sober Tuesday!

today's random opening...

I have zero desire to discuss the emotional roller coaster that I have been on for the last few months. A roller coaster that seems to be gaining momentum within the last few weeks, in fact.

Divorce sucks.

So, in keeping with the spirit of recovery, I will shoplift today's post from my daily random opening of As Bill Sees It.

"The Only Requirement...."

In Tradition Three, A.A. is really saying to every serious drinker,
"You are an A.A. member if you say so. You can declare yourself in;
nobody can keep you out. No matter how grave your emotional
complications -- even your crimes-- we don't want to keep you out. We
just want to be sure that you get the same chance for sobriety that
we've had."

<< << << >> >> >>

We do not wish to deny anyone his chance to recover from alcoholism.
We wish to be just as inclusive as we can, never exclusive.

1. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 139
2. GRAPEVINE, AUGUST 1946

Today I make the choice to:

• give 100% to my employer
• give 100% to my children
• give 100% to the meeting this evening
• not dwell
• pray for and assist those who ask for my help
• be of service

Happy Sober Thursday....