not an emotional post

The crack houses have been sold.

The tenants have been relocated.

An asbestos evaluation on the properties is next.

Then the whole fucking lot of them will get demolished.

In the 5 years that I have lived in the ghetto, I have earned the right to gloat over this development.

The history of Ghetto Living can be found in the labels section to the left of my blog. Enjoy.

goodbye for now

Things aren't well around here.

I think I need to step back for some time.

I appreciate everyone's supportive comments, but I'm so beat down, I don't even have the energy to moderate comments. Hopefully, I will be back soon.

confession

Things aren't good at home.

I typically don't write of my personal life because I don't feel that it's fair to the members of my family. I respect their privacy and will go to any lengths to protect them. But I have been at this long enough, and you all have read enough about my life, to have developed somewhat of a relationship with me. I believe that by only telling a third of the story, something is getting lost in translation.

Nothing happened overnight. This isn't about another man. But it's serious enough to warrant professional guidance. For the last couple of weeks I have been seeing a therapist regarding the firestorm that has been my life and I will continue to see her for as long as it is necessary.

My decision to be honest has more to do with my feelings and opinions on full disclosure, being honest with myself and others, and allowing you all to see the human side of me. If I have learned anything in recovery, it is that sobriety is not a utopia. If I have learned anything in online recovery, it is that more often than not, readers only get the tip of the iceberg. My iceberg tip can be superficial and lighthearted; so rarely will I ever let anyone see what is really going on. Most days I come to the blogs to forget about what is going on. To laugh a little, gain some perspective, see where I can be of service. All these things are good, but how am I being of service if you can't identify with me?

I am tired of reading blogs with tears in my eyes and yet never letting you know that the tears are there. Chances are good that I will not post much more on this subject. So many individuals have such staunch beliefs on the issues I'm dealing with, that bringing others into the fold only makes my head hurt more. Forgive me if I don't bleed on the blog about this one.

I appreciate the support that I have already received. I will be back to frivolous and lighthearted tomorrow.

things I dread and the return of Lurking Jesus

This is an honest-to-god pictorial of things in my life that I am currently dreading and/or fear.

My kids' hot mess of a room that can't stay organized for more than 24 hoursAntique dolls with beady eyesSewing button holesBut Lurking Jesus has got me covered. So I'm good.

hate guns...love bullets

• I have to face paint all day Friday at my kids' school carnival. Please excuse me for a moment while I laugh my ass off at that concept. Granted, I volunteered, but I volunteer for a lot of things. Doesn't mean I'm qualified. Now, I have skillz with the 'ol paintbrush; but we're talking more Jackson Pollack meets Salvador Dali. Should be interesting.
• My kids are back in school AND enrolled in an afterschool program which means that I am now freed from the bondage of late day babysitting and can either stay at work later or go in earlier. Both options do wonders for my serenity. Anyone with children knows that the 3:00-6:00 time slot in childcare is the witching hour.
• Lots of newcomers over at SoberMoms, which means lots of opportunities to be of service.
• Two new AA meetings have been started in my neighborhood and they are at reasonable hours. This means that I can walk to the meetings and not fear getting held at gunpoint on the way home. At least until the time changes and the nights get darker.
• I hate alcohol. Just had to put that in there.
• I have lost weight. OMG you have no idea how happy this makes me. It appeared as though every time I got on the scale at the physician's during the Toenail Fungus Experience, that my weight kept going up. WTF? But, you know, the meds for the fungus affected my liver levels and maybe that had something to do with the weight gain. Anyone? Anyone? (Bueller?)
• Someone referred to me as a vampire the other day. I was thrilled. It meant that my campaign to effectively repel the sun at all costs is working. Love it.
• Little bit of Kristin trivia: I use to love getting super stoned and then go wander the aisles of the grocery store to trip out on all the pretty colors.
• Been doing a pretty good job lately of staying in the Now.
• Have a great weekend!

a thread that can't be broken

June 10th of this year, my long deceased maternal grandfather would have been 100 years old. He was a gentle man with many talents, one of which was story telling. Most everyone in my extended family has a favorite memory of him sitting in his favorite deck chair with his pipe or cigarette, holding court with some odd tale extracted from his past. Like most of those on my mom’s side, he was funny in a way that couldn’t be bought. Hilarity was commonplace on that side of the family and I imagine, to those looking in from the outside, it was a pretty good place to be.

I don’t stay in contact with that side of the family and so was surprised when a chain of emails began circulating last month in a tribute to the life this man led. Someone unearthed vintage photos of the ‘good old days,’ scanned them into their computer, and posted them to share with the family at large. Many of the family members were far too young to remember any of the events that were depicted in these photos. They were at the mercy of the older generations to inform them of what this picture or that picture was about.

As one of the ‘older generation,’ I cringed when seeing these photos.

My memories of my family are not so rose colored and I imagine that if I polled various other members of my family, their observations would have matched mine. I was sharing with someone the other day that in every photo in those emails, alcohol was present. I can remember many of those events and can attest to the fact that many of the participants were drunk as well. The commentary that accompanied these photos was...

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hot dudes and electric guitars

I make no secret of my love affair with Jack White. And now, Jimmy Page, too? Give me a sec while I wipe the drool. Hot dudes and electric guitars....sweet mother...

you're invited

This is the post where I beg you to join me in the chat room at TSR on Sunday night, 8:00 PM Eastern time.

The lovely Alix of TSR beckoned and of course I said yes. So, while I will be hosting the chat, the topic is up for grabs. First person to join me in the room can choose the topic. See how agreeable I am? Must be all the serenity I have been feeling lately.

See you there.